|||||Creed - Beautiful||]|
Christmas break was awesome. I lost my job at Gordon’s Food Service. I skied two whole days with my cousins. And I got to hang out with my closest friends. Although I didn’t get to hang out with all of the people I wanted to see during the beginning of break. Towards the end of break I through a party at my cabin and I got to see my best of friends. We had good times and hopefully it will become an annual thing. There were some conflicts in the beginning trying to make sure everyone could make it and stay the night. But all in all it turned out great and I believe people that once were not so close to me became closer on that night. Unfortunately not everyone got closer.
The beginning of the semester was shitty. One of my best friends lost his girl friend over break and my other best friend hooked up with a girl that I am good friends with. Collin and I said that a relationship would hinder the boys’ relationship. We said that we wouldn’t be able to hang out like we once did. The results are that we (me and Collin) were correct. Maybe not all the way but everyday is seems closer and closer to that truth that we had talked about. This girl’s new relationship has broken down that once great relationship that used to be the brotherhood. Even thought this girl claims things can be the same and that they should I feel that thing can never go back to the way they were. In a way this new relationship doesn’t want things to be like they were. They want their time and there is no time for guy time. They secluded us from the room and now all we can do is bitch. But bitching never got anyone anywhere. I am truly happy for this new couple but I wish that they could show some respect that we want to have time to hang out as the guys. She claims that we can do that, but the timing isn’t quite right. You see guy time should be spent at night when all the work for the day is done, not in the afternoon when the work is being done. Priorities should be set straight again but none of my words are helping the situation. When ever I say anything they never truly listen. They feel that they shouldn’t change, even though they are the ones that have changed everything. They fell that we should change. But I ask you, where should we change? Where can we go to hang out? When will things finally be good? Fuck-it. They don’t care, all they want is time to be together with each other. Maybe that’s why I don’t have a relationship, because I don’t want to put in that much time and effort. I believe that friends are better than girl-friends. Girl-friends should be second choice, and best friends are put in front of them.
I am the kind of guy that likes to follow suit. If someone else is the leader then I will just shut up and follow the leader. Earlier in the year thought of myself as a shadow, and I still like to be that shadow sometimes. I am the kind of guy that likes to just sit and think. I think about what people are saying and I think about what I’m going to say next. Often when I think of something good to say, I loose it when I listen to what people are trying to tell me. These people very often get mad at me and they think that I’m just holding back. Unfortunately for my luck I don’t have the memory that everyone else has. I forget and even though I looked like I was going to say something a few seconds ago doesn’t mean that I know what I was going to say. I just simply forgot.
I was talking to one of my friends today and she said that if a guy doesn’t remember to do something with his girl then he doesn’t deserve her. Because he forgot he doesn’t care, or at least not enough. I don’t believe in this totally. I believe that boys will forget and sometime they don’t mean to, but that’s just the way things go. It doesn’t mean they don’t care. And it doesn’t meant they are not the one for that girl, it doesn’t mean they don’t care. They just simply don’t have good memories, and in my case that is true.
I hope this sums up most of the events in my life lately. I can only hope that things get better and then I won’t have to write in the journal. Because I only write when I’m mad about something.
I wrote this a few nights ago, when I was drunk, but unfortunately the livejournal server was out of commission. I'm posting this now after a wunderbar day of skiing (that's German for wonderful). Yes, the weather is -10 with a wind chill of 40 below but I had a great time.
Mach's gut und Auf Wiedersehen.